Hyapatia,
I have a question for you. Most of the guys I have been with start grabbing my head or pushing it down while I am sucking their dick.  Why do they think it’s okay to do that? I’ve never done that to a guy when he’s giving me head. I kinda want to stop right there. I thought weed makes them more mellow and relaxed – and they are, in the beginning. Also, I try to find guys that are into weed like me. It sucks when you’re with someone who doesn't want to smoke with you. I’d like to get a vape pen and do dabs. Do dabs mix well with sex?
Michelle

Dear Michelle,
As for your first question: honestly, I’m not sure, unless it’s all about a power trip. Or somehow they think we like it. I don't mind it, but I understand where you’re coming from. Some guys like to grab their partner around the neck when fucking from behind. I don't understand that move either. Maybe it’s for the reasons I just mentioned. Have you tried just stopping and saying: "I really don't like it when you do that”? Communication can go a long way. I know it may be awkward to come right out and tell your partner what you do and don't like. Women are often told not to criticize guys too much in bed or they won’t be able to get it up.  But I think guys would be much more excited knowing that they’re turning their lady on rather than having to guess about it.
Dabs are fabulous! You get higher faster and the taste is wonderful. You’ll love it! A vape pen is easier to take to bed – no ashes or chance of a fire. You can each take hits when you change positions or when you’re done giving head – anything you want. It makes sex feel like you’re floating on a cloud – real out-of-body experience!

Dear Hyapatia,
I’m not a slut, but I’ve been around a few guys. I’ll meet these great guys and go to my place, get high and listen to some jamz. Then we move toward the bedroom. Then they change and get all freaky. I’m getting pissed off at these dudes who want to finish on my face. First, they want me to swallow. Yuck! No way, ever! That’s just disgusting. I don't get it. What do they think my pussy is for? Where do they get these dumb ideas? And why do they want to stick it in every hole they find? I mean, I love sex and all, but lately I have run into these dudes who want to fuck me in the ass and come all over my face. What up with dat?
Kietia,

Dear Kietia,
In a lot of the X-rated movies the women take it up the ass, let guys come on their face and all that other wild stuff. That doesn’t mean you have to do what they do in Holly-weird. Guys watch that stuff and start thinking about how great it would be to try that. They might get the idea that women want that if they see it so much on the screen. Guys finish on the face in the movies so the camera can film the come shot. The same thing goes for anal. The movies show all kinds of different sex. In time, they got wilder and wilder to find new ways to make sex look different in order to make it sell. Something that you may not have seen or heard about before can often be a selling point. That’s why the industry got into the "gonzo" stuff – bondage, S&M, gang bangs with 100 guys. Insane shit. You can always find someone out there who’ll do anything for a few bucks. The best way to avoid these unpleasant situations is communicate. Before you head to the bedroom, try to work it into conversation that you’re not into all that crazy shit. You like "normal" sex with a "normal" guy.  That way, he won't feel like you’re looking for a big dick and that you don't expect him to be a gymnast in bed. When you’re getting high, you start to relax and it makes it easier to talk about awkward things.  I think taking the pressure off the guy helps both of you communicate better. If he starts making a move that you don't like, or suggests something you aren't into, let him know right away. Say something like "I love having sex with you, but I really don't like ______ (whatever it is). If it gets tense, suggest another joint to clear the air, so to speak.

Hey there,
I have a problem. On weekends I like to sit back, have a few blunts and a few beers. Why is it that I can't “do it” as well on the weekends. I would think that because I’m all loosened up I shouldn't have a problem. It doesn't happen during the week, only on the weekends.
Barry

Dear Barry,
It's the alcohol. Your ability to get it up and get it off are directly linked to the amount of alcohol you drink. Put the beer down and roll more blunts! I don't know how much you drink, but just for the record, unless she’s drinking, too, most girls don't really like a guy to be too loose and wasted. The booze isn't worth what you miss in bed.

Hyapatia,
When I go down on my girl, the smell is dank! All girls have a smell. Sometimes I have to hold my breath while I’m down there. Why does pussy have that smell?
Just Curious

Dear Just Curious,
All people smell down there. Guys have a smell too.  Some people smell more than others. On the movie sets, when I used to have sex, everyone involved in the scene would go wash up before we started. We brushed our teeth and used Tic-Tacs. We cleaned up real well and used body sprays to make us smell good. That pretty much eliminates the "bad" smell entirely. Some of the guys I worked with didn't like it when girls washed up too much. I've heard several performers say they don't like a pussy that smells like flowers – that it is harder for them to get it up when the natural pheromones are not there. Pheromones are nature’s way of turning us on. All animals have them, even insects. As a matter of fact, there are bug catchers for the garden that are designed to give off a scent to attract the bugs that smells like "bug ass," for lack of a better term. You could tell your lady that you want to wash up for her when you’re about ready for sex. Hopefully she’ll take the hint and do the same. You might ask her if she needs to use the bathroom after you’re finished, to prompt her. You could smoke more, too. Maybe the smell of the good weed will overpower the other.