Dear Hyapatia,
We have these friends who are members of a swingers club. My boyfriend thinks this is a good idea for us to try. I’m not so sure. I mean, there are guys I am attracted to and can see myself going to bed with, but I don't know how this is going to affect our relationship, you know? Our friends want us to join them. I think she wants to have sex with my husband. I’m worried that this could lead to an affair. Am I just being silly?
Janice

Dear Janice,
No, you’re not being silly. If your boyfriend is loyal to you, he won’t fall for someone else just because he had sex with them. There is more to a relationship than sex. If you’re both smart enough to see that, then there’s no harm in swinging – that is, if you both want to and if you use safe sex.

Dear Hyapatia,
My lady is a dancer. She’s super hot and works at one of the finest clubs in the country. She brings home lots of money in tips. But I must say, I’m jealous – but not like you would think. I know she isn't foolin' around on the side or anything, but I wish I could make that kind of money! There is nothing I can do to compete with that and I feel like I’m not doing what I should as the dude. I don't want her to quit, but it would make me feel better. I know she never would and I would be stupid to ask her to. After all, she makes most of the money. Do dudes make good money dancing? I’m not bad looking, and I could shake it as well as the next guy. How do I get started in this?
Mike

Dear Mike,
There is something else you could do to make great money. Grow weed! Of course, if you still want to dance, go for it! I don't know where you live, so I can't guide you to the nearest ladies club, but you can do the research on that. Guys make the most money when they form a review. Get a few other guys to join you, work out some choreography – maybe even get a choreographer. Plan a theme, with music and costumes – firefighters, cops or something like that. Shows tend to do better than a solitary, good-looking guy stripping. Play into the women's fantasies. There’s great money in it. Women tend to tip more than guys do on average and good male dancers and reviews are in high demand.

Dear Hyapatia,
I want my girlfriend to move in with me. We’ve been going together for almost a year and we get along great. It just makes sense. It's stupid that she has to get up before dawn to go home and get ready for work. She’d be better off just getting ready here. It would save a bunch of time and money since she wouldn't have to pay for her place. I keep asking her, but she says she doesn't like all the traffic here. I have a bunch of friends who hang out here all the time. She gets along great with my homies, so I don't see the problem. Do you have any idea what might be keeping her from moving in?
Jake

Dear Jake,
She could be concerned about privacy. What if she wants to be alone but the house is hoppin'? If she hangs out by herself in the bedroom, she may look like a snob or something. Maybe you could find a way to show her she can have her privacy any time she needs it at your place. That might help. Some people don’t mind being around others all the time; others prefer to be around just a few people, or alone. If she lives with you, she has to feel that your home is equally hers.

Dear Hyapatia,
My girlfriend is a horrible driver. When she gets stoned, it’s terrifying. I’ve tried to tell her, but gets mad and says I’m bitching at her. I am, but it’s because I’m afraid for my life! She stops at green lights, ignores red ones, changes lanes without looking and does all kinds of things that make me almost wet my pants! I try to take the keys first, but she always throws a fit. I’ve started to just put up with the fit, but now it’s messing with our relationship. She says I bitch at everything she does. That isn't true; it’s just the driving. I worry about her when she’s alone. I try to offer to take her places, but she sees right through that. I don't want to lose her – either through my complaining about her driving or because of her bad driving.
Aron

Dear Aron,
You’re doing the right thing. She may be pissed, but at least she’s alive. It’s too bad you can’t show her how badly she drives. If you can keep emphasizing how much you care about her and don't want her to be hurt, she shouldn't be too pissed. After all, you’re just showing your concern for her safety.