Dear Hyapatia,
My wife and I are members of a wonderful swingers club located in the nearest big city to where we live. We both enjoy swinging and neither of us feels we’re doing it just to make the other happy. So all is well here, right? 
Not. The club we belong to has a lot of social drinkers.  My wife and I try to stay away from alcohol. But we do like to toke it up on the weekend when the club meets. Things had been going smoothly. Other members like to smoke a bit, too, but not as much as we do. Recently a new couple joined. These people don't like weed at all. They’ve started to complain and now some of the other members have joined in. We don't want to stop swinging but it’s clear we’re not welcome here any more. Do you know of any swingers groups in our area that are open to medicating?
John

Dear John,
You can probably find other swingers groups in your area by checking online. In a state where marijuana is illegal, it’s a problem to come right out and ask about how a club feels feel about smoking. They might be cool, but afraid to say so. It might be best to check out a new group by going to visit, rather than just inquiring. There are many good groups out there that are cool. I hope you find one.

Hyapatia,
I love my husband very much and we have been together forever, but he has turned into a verbally abusive chatterbox. I can't get him to let me get a word in no matter what I do. He says I am interrupting if I try to defend myself against his crazy accusations. He has gotten this way slowly over the years and I have just put up with it. I try to get him to smoke. Or I smoke to brush off the bad feelings and anger, but it’s getting harder to do. He suffers from a degenerative bone disease, so I try to have patience with him. I know he’s in terrible pain and I want to help him feel better. Having said that, he yells at me for bumps and turns in the road I can’t help. I did not make the road! He gives me shit if something in the house should go wrong. God forbid if something should happen and the car needs maintenance! It’s always my fault, even if it’s just one of those things routine after so many miles. These are just a few examples. He has made all of our friends uncomfortable and it’s awkward for them when he goes on one of his tirades. People just don't come around as often as they used to and I miss my friends. I know he must be miserable. What can I do to make him feel better? It seems the pot just isn't doing as good of a job as it used to. He’s already on major pain medications from the doctor.
Judy

Dear Judy,
I feel for you. Caring for people who are ill can be very difficult. You have to walk a fine line between partner and helper/caregiver. Sometimes the person who’s being for always holds a bit of resentment, as they don't like being in a position of needing caring. No one likes to feel weak or vulnerable but often, that’s how we find ourselves. Isn’t it ironic that the very ones who are needed so badly are the ones who suffer abuse? I can only suggest a tincture or a strong edible. Maybe a good dab that delivers a massive dose of cannabinoids and THC. Maybe that will help settle him down and ease his pain – and yours.
There are also other herbs that might be helpful. Valerian root can help take the edge off of pain, anger and sleeplessness. You’ll want to take valerian root capsules instead of making a tea or a tincture. The taste is horrible, only rivaled by its smell. Really. It’s very safe. I’ve never heard of anyone overdosing on this stuff. I’ve even seen it recommended for children in smaller doses.

Dear Hyapatia,
My girlfriend and I have a great sex life.  We fuck all the time. She gets me going night and day. If there's one thing I'd like to try, it would be B & D.  I want her to tie me up to the bed and ride me like a bull in a rodeo. You know what I mean? I wish she would be more aggressive, force me to have sex with her, even though I might be exhausted and worn out. This is such a big fantasy of mine.  I’ve hinted at this more than a couple of times. What more can I do to fulfill my fantasy with her?
Wild in New York

Dear Wild in New York,
One thing I like to do is go to sex shops and see all the sexy lingerie, lubricants and dildos they have. Most good shops have a section of restraints. Take your lady to one of these shops and guide her there. Direct her attention to the kinds of ties, gags or other toys you might be interested in. She should get the picture. You might even give her a whip and ask how it feels in her hand. Or model some of the submissive outfits for her. A good hard-core video on the subject should get you started. Don't forget good lubes and incense, too. Fragrances bring the whole scene together while lubricants are usually a must when experimenting with S & M.

Dear Hyapatia,
Hi sexy! I love to watch X-rated movies and my girlfriend is pretty understanding about it. She even watches with me sometimes. I’m not a pervert or anything, but I would love to try something with my girlfriend that we’ve never done before. She has these beautiful, big double D's and I am just dying to try tit-fucking with her. I’ve tried to find a movie with tit-fucking in it, but there isn't much of it around — at least, that I’ve been able to find. Can you help me out? Is there a movie that you can suggest? I think if she sees it, and then I suggest it, I might have a chance of pulling this off, so to speak. Thanks!
Dan

Dear Dan,
You're right, there isn't much tit-fucking shot anymore. It seems the business has changed a bit. Tit-fucking is not strange, though it seems to have fallen by the wayside lately. It used to be more common. Try bringing up the subject up without a movie. Compliment her ample "boobage," then ask her if she’s ever tried tit-fucking. If she acts disgusted, you probably should back off. However, if you plant the idea, it may grow. After a month or so, she may be more interested in trying it. But, hopefully, she’ll take the hint and want to do it right then and there!