Dear Hyapatia,
I work in a gentlemen's club as a dancer with about 20 other girls. We all share a dressing room, but have separate lockers. Our manager is real cool and we get high back there on our breaks. We take turns bringing smoke. Whenever I bring some buds in, my boyfriend throws a hissy fit. He thinks I should only smoke with him and never anyone else or by myself. I feel like he’s trying to control me and that pisses me off. We share the cost of our smoke but I make more money then he does, so I end up paying more for it. He sells some to help out, but somehow I never see that money. I am getting tired of making up stupid excuses for not having something to share. How can I get through to him?
Claire

Dear Claire,
I tdon't think there's going to be a way to get through to him. In his mind it‘s not about the weed; it's about controlling you. You said it: he thinks you should never smoke unless you’re with him. Wow! What crazy rule is he going to lay down next? Does he refrain from getting high when you’re not there? The fact that you’re paying more than your fair share makes me think that you'd be better off without the drama and bullshit. Obviously, you can pay for smoke without relying on him. He sounds like a real buzzkill.

Hyapatia,
My girlfriend and I have been together for a couple of months now. I always look forward to getting home from work just to be with her. When we sit down and relax at the end of the day, or on the weekend, we always get high. This makes me extremely horny and I can't keep my hands off of her. She is so hot and I think about having sex with her all day. I guess I must have pissed her off. Now she doesn't want to sit down at the end of the day with me anymore and we haven't had sex in almost a week. We didn't have an argument or anything. I have no idea what I did wrong. I ask her what's the matter and she says nothing. Why are girls so moody like this? Can you help me out?
Allen

Dear Allen,
If she won't come out and tell you what’s wrong, you’re going to have to do some thinking. Think back to what happened just before you noticed that she was distancing herself from you. You’ve said that when you get high with her, you get very horny and that it’s been almost a week since you’ve had sex. Maybe she doesn't get horny every time she gets high. Maybe she just wants to sit and get high without having sex. Since you haven't had sex in awhile, I’m guessing that she doesn’t feel like it. Does this make sense to you? If it fits, great! If not, then you have no choice but to actually sit down and talk with her. Find out why she’s changed her sexual behavior toward you. She might have a hard time coming out and saying why, but if you share a fatty, it should help.

Dear Hyapatia,
I like to watch sex films, then fuck – and so does my man. We watch them while we’re doing it, but I have two problems. First, I’ve noticed that he’s watching the movie while we’re doing it more than he’s looking at me. It didn't bother me at first, but after awhile I felt insulted, you know? Secondly, he wants me to do all the shit he sees in the movie. There’s no way I’m doing some of that crap! I ain't no porn star and I don't want no dick up my ass! Why can't he just stop asking?
K

Dear K,
First off, I think you guys should turn off the TV before you start to do it. It's too distracting. You need to be concentrating on each other. If he doesn't want to do that, tell him you get distracted looking at all those good-looking guys with the really big dicks (as compared to his). That should do it. Secondly, explain that porn stars do many things one time for big bucks on camera. Explain that you’re not a porno star but a normal woman. Also, tell him that you, like many other women, don't happen to be into anal sex.  

Dear Hyapatia,
I read that back in the “golden age” of porn there were all kinds of drugs on the movie sets and in the casting rooms. What kind of drugs did you guys do? Was it just pot? Did you go to any wild parties or orgies with lots of coke or anything?
Brian

Dear Brian,
Oh yes! There were many parties. Plato's Retreat in New York City was a favorite party spot – and you could do anything in there. In L.A. we had parties at people's houses. In Vegas, it was in hotel rooms. Usually people smoked pot and did coke. Few guys did cocaine on the set because it’s hard to get it up when you’re high on coke. I remember one time on a set everyone was wearing their own microphones and we kinda forgot about them after awhile. But the sound man could still hear us all talking. He overheard a conversation about selling an 8-ball of coke. He motioned to the producer to come over and listen. After he listened for awhile, he got angry and marched into the dressing room and promptly fired the guys. He said he couldn't have two things that he could get arrested for going on in the same place. But, yes, there were a lot of drugs back in the day.