Dear Hyapatia,
I'm a singer in a band and I love to get high! When I have a gig to do, me and the guys like to get good and high first. This was never a big deal before, but now I’m having problems singing sometimes after smoking so much. I don't smoke cigarettes, just weed, and I smoke a lot when we have a gig. I will not give up getting high with my homies, but I also gotta be good and sexy on stage for the ladies.
Darrin

Dear Darrin,
I was going to suggest edibles until I read your last line. So, I suggest you may want to try hot tea and lemon right before you go on. That will help the vocal chords. Also, do vocal exercises daily. Singing has more to do with proper breathing more than anything else. Try to exhale all the air out of your lungs completely before you inhale. Do this for about five minutes before you start and then after you smoke. That will give you more lung capacity. By the way, as spectators, please be aware that many of us ladies love to look at a sexy backside. Don't forget to turn around so we can see your sexy butt! Yes, it’s nice to see those tight pants outline your hard cock onstage. That‘s wonderful -- really -- but we also like a good rear view! Keep on rockin'!

Hyapatia,
My guy likes to drink and smoke pot.  I like to smoke pot, too. But I don't drink. I really hate it when he drinks. He starts by getting high with me, then he has a drink. That's okay, but he keeps drinking. By the time we go to bed, he’s swaying from side to side. When we get there, I spend what feels like hours sucking his cock, trying to get him hard. When he doesn't drink he gets hard before he takes his pants off. My jaws are killing me and I start to give up when he says, "Keep going, baby. I'm almost there.” And he never gets hard enough to get me off. He tries by eating my pussy really well. That was fine for a while, but now I really want to feel his hard cock inside me.  I need to get him to quit drinking somehow, but how?
Jaws

Dear Jaws,
Most guys have a hard time getting it up when they drink or do cocaine. After awhile, some of them figure it out, but a lot don’t. Have you tried coming out and telling him that you like sex with him better when he doesn't drink? Maybe you could have sex before he starts drinking. It’s probably best not to discuss the (soft) elephant in the room. Just stick to how sex is better when he doesn't drink. Good luck!

Dear H,
My boyfriend is a grower and I like to watch him. It turns me on. Sometimes, I think he gets mad at me because I keep him from working. But I see him working in there and it’s so hot that I just can't help myself. I start moving in behind him to watch closer and rub my tits against his back. Then I move my hands over his ass and around front to his hot spot. His cock starts to grow and that makes me even hotter. Before I know it, I’m on my knees taking his cock into my mouth, getting it all wet and feeling it grow down my throat. He ends up fucking me from behind as I hold onto the plant table. I come several times and my juices start to drip slowly down my leg when he shoots his wad against my back wall, sending me into another wave of orgasm. When we've finished, the room is a little fucked up -- pun intended. He has to fix the mess we made. He hasn't really complained, but I feel bad about the mess. I don't know what to do to fix it and I don't want to fuck things up any more than I already have, so I just watch him and get turned on all over again!
Melissa

Dear Melissa,
I doubt that your guy complains about this, but ask him what you could do to help. If he’s like me, he could use some help in the growroom. That would give you more opportunity to enjoy him and help him out a bit, too.

Dear Hyapatia,
This is probably not the way it normally goes. I would like to try anal sex but I can't seem to get my boyfriend to get into it. I have tried to hint, pretty obviously, really -- but he doesn't pick up on it. I don't know what to do other than come right out and say "Fuck me in the ass!" I’m too shy to do that. Any suggestions? Maybe he will read this and finally get it!
Kiesha

Dear Kiesha,
That is different, but you’re not the first! Have you tried asking him if there are any things that he would like to try sexually? Hopefully he will then ask you the same things, but he might miss that hint, too. In that case, do you think you could get up the nerve to say you would like to try something new? You don't have to say what it is just yet, only that you would like to try something. You can even say you’re too shy to say what it is. Perhaps you could then watch some sex on the computer and "stumble on" some anal sex. At that point you could say something like, "That looks interesting" or "What do you think about that?" He really should pick up the hint at that point, unless there’s something wrong with him. I hope you get to try it because it can be really exciting when done right.