Hyapatia,
My lady and I smoke a lot of weed, but she smokes a bit more than I do. When we make out, she‘s always really stoned. Just once, I’d like to see what it’s like to make out without being high. I haven't asked her yet, and I think she’ll be okay with that, but now I’m having second thoughts. Maybe it will be bad and I’ll find out that she really isn't into me. Should I go through with this or not?
Jerry

Dear Jerry,
You’re putting an awful lot of stock in your weed. But I don't think it will make much of a difference. She might be a little more inhibited, or a bit more energetic, or maybe just the same. If you want to try it, I wouldn’t worry about finding out she really doesn't care for you. Pot doesn’t work like that. I’ve never known anyone who choses to be with someone just because they’re high.

Dear Hyapatia,
I just met this great guy. We met two weeks ago. He’s really cool. He wants to have sex, but I’ve been celibate for two years and am not quite ready. I can see doing it with him, but the more he pressures me, the more I don't want to. Am I just being silly about this? Should I just go ahead? I do want to – just not quite yet.
Sara

Dear Sara,
Follow your heart. If it doesn't feel like the right time, trust your instincts. You’ve only known him for two weeks. You said he “pressures” you. I think you need more time to get to know him better and there’s nothing wrong with that. He needs to know you’re worth waiting for – and so do you!

Hyapatia,
I’ve been hiding my smoking from my girlfriend for a long time. I mean years! She knows I smoke. She does, too – just not nearly as much as I do. She gets bitchy when I smoke around her too much. I want to come clean now. I’m tired of hiding it and leaving home to get high. I want to smoke my weed on my couch, watch TV and not be bitched at. Is that too much to ask? I work hard, I pay for my weed and she’s never missed the money. I don't want her bitching at me or sleeping on the couch to avoid me because she’s mad that I smoked more weed than she thought I should. Should I put my foot down or what?
Mitch

Dear Mitch
Yes, put your foot down! It’s your home, like you said. You work hard enough to pay for it without taking away from things you need – so, fuck it! You’re an adult and you should be able to do what you want without sneaking around like a teenager hiding from a parent. She’s just going to have to deal with it. And if she sleeps on the couch a few nights — fine. She’ll get over it eventually. Remind her that you’re a free man, and she should shut up over it. It doesn't affect her life in the least.

Dear Hyapatia,
My man and I smoke after we have sex. I want to get out of bed to smoke, but he wants to stay there. He says he’s spent. I don't think it’s safe to smoke in bed. He says weed isn't treated with chemicals to make them keep burning like cigarettes, I don't care, I still think it’s dangerous. He’s fallen asleep a couple of times and I’m glad I was up to save his ass! I really wish he wouldn't do this.
Meg

Dear Meg,
Tell him you care about and worry about him. I’m sure you’ve told him that he’s fallen asleep with a lit joint and that you saved both of you from a possible fire. When the cherry falls out and onto the carpet, it will burn. Same thing with sheets or a mattress. Don’t take a chance on anything. If you can't get him out of bed, tell him he can’t smoke. I’d keep an eye on him and make sure everything is safe – even if he’s up. I’ve seen guys do some pretty mindless things after sex. Sometimes when they come, their brains go on the blink.