Dear Hyapatia,
My girlfriend is really starting to bug me about a few things, but I don't want to leave her. She’s beautiful and smart and there are many good things about her. It’s just that she's got this thing against pot. She says she hates the smell, doesn't like having sex with me when I’m high and shit like that. I'm not really good at dealing with all that. I never know what to say until it's too late most the time. But with this, I never figure out what to say ever. I'm not going to give up my sticky icky, but I don't want to give her up either.

Dear J,
Normally I would tell you to dump her and move on, but you say you want to stay with her. Okay, then. Educate her as to how safe cannabis is for you. The Emperor Wears No Clothes by the late Jack Herer is the bible of great uses for cannabis and proof that it’s not dangerous. As for the smell, have you tried a vape pen? They’re really great! I love mine. They’re discreet, quick and odorless. If you’d rather not broach the subject with your girlfriend, then she doesn't have to know about it. Find a private place for a minute or two and you’re good. Concentrates make it quick and easy to get the high you want in no time! The only way she’ll know you’re high with a vape pen is by your behavior and, of course, your eyes.
Of course, there are always edibles! No smoke, no time away, nothing! Just take a few bites and you’re good for the rest of the night! If you feel you want more, no problem. Again, she may never even know if you don't give it away.

I can't believe I’m writing to you about this, but here it goes: my girlfriend just sits around all day getting high, watching TV and I’m getting really tired of it. I started growing a couple of years ago to keep up with her habit because it was getting so expensive. Don't get me wrong. I like getting high just as much as the next guy, but I still have to get up, go to work and do my chores. She doesn't have a job. She takes care of the kids, who are in school all but two hours of the time I’m away. She could be cleaning the house and stuff. But she sits on her ass and just smokes. I can't be the only one who straightens up around here. Pot is making her lazy. I got to get her to wait until I get home to smoke. Should I put it in a safe that she doesn't have the lock to? I hate to be like that. I don't want to piss her off, but I’m at the end of my rope.

Dear Mike,
Have you sat down with her, after the kids are off to bed, and talked about this problem? I will assume that you have and it hasn't worked. Some people have addictive personalities and have the potential to become addicted to anything – food, sex, video games or laziness. They need to be pushed out of their comfort zone.
Watching TV all day is definitely not good by itself. I know it contributes to smoking more than you really need. See if you can get her to turn it off, get up and move around a bit. We all need exercise. Sitting in front of a screen is horrible for us.
Some kind of reward system might help. Suggest that if she cleans the kitchen, you’ll take her out to dinner. Don't make the task too big or the reward too great at first. And do not tell her you’re simply trying to get her to stop smoking so much. If you do that, it may cause an argument. And don’t complain, as in: "The kitchen has been a mess for so long that I’ve decided to offer you a reward if you clean it.” That’s not the way to go either. Don’t treat her like a child. Instead, say something like: "You know, we could use a romantic night alone together. I'd love to get dressed up and take you out. We haven't had a night together in a long time."
Wait for her reaction. If she agrees that it would be a fun time, then casually throw in something like: "I'll make you a deal. I’ll take you out on the town next Saturday night, if you...”
Look around; take your time. Don't act like you planned it all to get to this point. Remember, don’t overwhelm her. It should be something that can be done in an afternoon. Start small. If all goes well, you should be able to shake her out of her bad habits, you’ll have more weed left over when you get home and, perhaps, you'll have some great sex!

Dear Hyapatia,
My girlfriend says she loves sex, but she never comes from fucking. I have to be eating her or playing with her pussy to make her come. She tells me I’m good at fucking her, but I think she must be lying or she would be able to come during sex. None of my other girlfriends ever had this problem. How can I help her to come?

Dear Shannon,
It’s great that you want to make her come while fucking her, but it may not be a realistic goal. Only 30 percent of women can actually come from just fucking, so your other girlfriends may have been faking it. I’m not saying you or any other man is a bad lay; it's just that a vagina doesn't have as many nerve endings as a cock has. However, the clitoris has twice as many as your dick. So some of us really prefer to have our clitoris played with more than fucking – most of the time. Naturally, we love to pleasure our men, and fucking feels really good to us, too. But some of us need direct contact on our clit in order to come. Try as many different positions as you can find though. You never know what you may discover!