Hyapatia,
I am a stay-home mother of two children under 5. My husband works a regular 8-hour day. Taking care of two kids, a house and all the business of running a home, I get stressed out during the day and when I put the kids down for a nap, I usually smoke a joint. This pisses my husband off. He wishes I would wait for him to come home. He says it isn't fair because he can't smoke during the day. I can't say what his job is, but I believe my day is filled with far more stress. I can't believe he’s serious about one fucking joint. What is your opinion on this?
Jane

Dear Jane,
Taking care of two children under five is an enormously stressful job. I did it as a single mother and I know what it’s like. Has your husband ever had to take care of the kids by himself, as well as take care of the house for eight or more hours? If so, he should know what it entails – patience. Patience doesn’t come easy when kids are trying to kill and maim themselves inadvertently by exploring dangerous things and hurting themselves at every turn. Roseanne Barr says, “If the kids are alive at the end of the day, you’ve done your job.” A joint can make the difference between a mean tone in your voice and loving patience. I realize in today's economy it can be hard to keep yourself supplied in the way in which you’d like to become accustomed, but what price can you put on patience with young children?

Dear Hyapatia,
I have psoriasis on my legs and trunk. It’s not contagious and I’m trying to control it with medications. In the meantime, I don't date because I’m embarrassed. How can I find someone that is cool about this, before we get in bed?
Homie

Dear Homie,
Many women are very understanding, especially stoners. Is there any psoriasis on your legs or arms? If so, you could bring it up and explain it to a girl while you are getting to know her over a blunt. This gives you the chance to add: "It’s on the trunk of my body and other places, too." That would explain the whole thing before you ever get to the sack. Now, if your psoriasis isn’t visible in a sleeveless shirt and shorts, you’ll have to find some other way to bring up the topic. You could just come right out and say, "I don't want to freak you out, but I have psoriasis.” Then, explain the condition and how you’ve found it easier to come right out and talk about your condition soon after meeting someone. That way they don't think you’re hiding something.

Hey Hya,
What's up? My boyfriend is a caregiver for many people. They come over all the time and that kinda bothers me, but I never say anything. What really gets me is that he is just way too friendly with a couple of the girls who come by. He’s all cozy and bending over backwards to please them. He don't act that way when his buds are here, you know? It makes me wonder what he’s like with the women when I’m away at the store or something. I trust him. I mean, he ain't never cheated on me, but this one thing drives me crazy.
Jannice

Dear Jannice,
Maybe he’s just a good businessman and this is how he takes care of his customers. Or maybe he doesn't know any other way to take care of his female customers than to flirt with them a bit. That can be hard to take. I get lots of letters from guys and girls in similar situations. To ease your mind, try to make sure you’re always there when he sees his female patients. You might even ask him to not see them when you’re away. If he cares for you as he should, he’ll honor your request.

Hyapatia,
I fucked up Valentines Day. I know it’s the end of March, but I’m still hearing about it. What the fuck? We had a good evening alone and ended it with great sex. What does she want from me?
Confused

Dear Confused,
Every woman has a different idea of what is romantic or sexy. It’s impossible for me to guess what she wants – or for you to guess either, for that matter. So ask her. Sit down and ask her what kind of Valentines Day she envisions. Maybe she wants a gift, jewelry or some flowers, or both. But she should tell you what she wants. If she doesn't know or can't tell you, her expectations are unreasonable. No one can read minds.