Pot makes my girlfriend lazy in bed. How can I make her more active?

Hey Dude,
Are you smoking indica or sativa? A pure sativa will give her more energy. Or she could abstain until you’re done. But try different positions. Shift her to the top. Have her face away from you while there. And, of course, do it doggy-style. Get her up off the mattress. Hopefully, that will solve your problem. Ask her which she likes best. If she doesn't know, you’d better get back to trying them all to find out!

I’m so tired of being alone. I’ve looked everywhere for a girlfriend, I’ve even tried to pick up women at the grocery store. All the nice ones are taken and the ones that will go out with me are, well, not really my type. I love to get high. I don't have any tattoos or brightly colored hair or dreadlocks. I’m rather clean-cut. I’m a college student and my grades are important to me, so I guess I’m a geek – a geek who loves weed. Are there any ganja smoking geeks out there for me? How can I find them?
Hands Solo

Dear Hands,
Yes! There are many geeks who are single and get high. It’s hard to find them because there’s such a stigma against pot. In most states, they hide in order to maintain their clean-cut image. Are you bringing up your ganja use too soon? Have you tried dating a girl you’re attracted to and waited until after a few dates before bringing up the weed issue? There are many dating sites that cater to pot smoking singles. You could get to know a girl online. Many people connect on the internet these days and have formed great relationships. A lot of people scoff at dating sites, but I’ve known several people who have great relationship that started online.

My girlfriend and I are having so much fun! We switch partners with our boyfriends and sometimes we do each other while they watch. They get really turned on by that. We like to show off and we like each other. I guess we’re just very sexual. What pisses us off though is that sometimes while we’re kissing each other and stuff, the guys start doing dabs or smoking a blunt. They never offer it to us. We’re busy exploring each other's bodies, but never to busy for a toke!  Usually, they’re very polite and stuff, but we want to come out and say something. When and how would be the best way?
Two Sexy Ladies

You can have some real fun with this. When they light up, just stop. Look at them. When they start to feel awkward, tell them it’s their turn to put on a show for you while you watch and get high – which they probably will freak out over. Or you could say, “If you want me to put your cock in my mouth, you’d better put a blunt in it first.” They’ll get the picture.

Dear Hyapatia,
My dude either has never listened when people talk about manscaping – or he thinks it doesn’t apply to him. He has a lot of hair on his chest; I like that. And I think it’s kinda cool that his chest hair goes all the way down to his pubes. But when I suck his cock I feel like I’m French-kissing a beard. I know most men don't worry about their looks like women do, but it seems to me that we hear a lot more about men cleaning themselves up than ever before. There’s no way I could ever come out and tell him, no matter how stoned I am.

Dear Miama,
It’s true. Men don't worry about their looks like women do. For example, very, very few straight guys will get a manicure. Some have started to get rid of their unibrows.  But I really haven't seen many men clean up around their dicks. Guys: Trimming your pubes and clearing the forest a bit will make your cock look bigger! Seriously, It will!  If you prune the foliage and let the entire length of your rod be visible, you add an inch or more – depending on how long you let your pubic hair grow. That should incentive-ize you!
Miama, get him good and high first. Then, try getting him into the bathroom to help you decide how far you should shave yourself. Bring a joint along. After you’re done, look at him and say, "Next!" If he balks, tell him what I said and start pulling down his pants. You may even want to tell him that you heard all the porn stars do it. It may sound exciting. Also, remind him that it will grow back.