Dear Hyapatia,
My lady and I both have been growing pot for years. We have developed our own strains and we have friendly contests between us to see who has the best.  Our friends come over and we sit around and judge the unmarked weed to give each a fair shot. Lately, mine has been winning a lot and it has kinda gotten ugly. She’s a sore loser. I don't want to compete against her anymore, but she wants to keep it up until she wins. It just isn't fun anymore. How can we kiss and make up?
Dillon

Dear Dillon,
I was a judge at the HIGH TIMES Medical Cannabis Cub in Richmond, CA this year and it’s not easy judging good flowers. It’s subjective. Some people enjoy more THC, while others prefer more cannabinoids. Some people like chocolate, some like strawberry. They’re both great. It’s just a matter of personal preference. I imagine if your buddies (judges) decided that they were tired of judging and just wanted to enjoy your stash, it would put an end to your dispute. I suggest you let them read this. Hopefully, they’ll agree. Then you and your lady can go for that “kiss and make-up” sex!

Dear Hyapatia,
My girlfriend has a Lexus. It is soooo bad-ass.  I love to drive it and, of course, she doesn't let me very often – which is a real shame because when she drives while high, she scares me to death. Seriously, she stops at green lights, forgets to look before pulling out, and all kinds of other things. I don't want to tell her because It’s her car and she’ll think I’m just trying to get her to let me drive. I am trying to get her to let me drive, because she isn't doing a very good job. I don't want us to get into an accident and end up in jail. I’m trying to save her from wrecking her car. I’ve tried to hint that she might be better off letting me take the wheel, but she isn't convinced.
Terrence

Dear Terrence,
You’re in a very difficult position. It’s hard to say anything that she probably won't take personally. We’re all in difficult positions as the laws change around us. My advice is leave the driving to the straight. We can't afford to jeopardize the legal ground we have gained. Wait until you’re in a place where you intend to remain for a while to get high. Also, it's much more fun to get high when you don't have to think about going somewhere and being in public.

Hyapatia,
I have a lovely wife and an 18-month-old daughter. I work during the day while my wife takes care of the baby and our home. I really like being able to have her at home for our daughter. I think it gives her a better start in life and is worth the sacrifice of getting by on one income. When I’m at work, my wife sometimes has friends over who also have young children. This helps the kids socialize. When the kids lie down for their naps, the moms take some time to relax and toke up. When I get home, I’m stressed out and need to unwind. It really gets me mad when I find out that she’s been getting high all day with her friends and there isn't enough left for me to get a good buzz on. I think it’s kinda selfish and this has caused a few fights. She says that taking care of a baby is hard work and she needs to chill so she doesn't lose her temper. I work hard all day, too, and don't have a chance to "chill so I don't lose my temper." Lately, I’ve been hiding my weed so she won't be able to smoke it all while I’m at work. I feel dishonest, but if that’s what I have to do, I’ll do it. She has started to search through my things while I am gone. She doesn't know I know this, but I can tell when things are not in the same place that I left them. That makes me feel like she’s dishonest.  How can we quit this stupid game before it breaks us up?
Ian

Dear Ian,
As my grandmother used to say, you need to sit down together and have a powwow.  It probably wouldn't hurt to use a “talking stick” either. A talking stick could be anything –a spatula, a hairbrush, a stick – just about anything. The rules are that no one can talk unless they hold the talking stick and that you can hold the talking stick as long as you have something to say. Then you give it to the next person.Ideally, this will stop people from interrupting each other. Try not to place guilt or blame. Use sentences that don’t place emotions on the table. Avoid words like "never" or "always.”Perhaps you could decide on an amount to set aside for each of you to use when you’re away from each other. You could set a limit that is agreed upon beforehand. Try to be flexible and understanding in finding solutions and good luck!!