'Sup?,
My girlfriend is a dancer in a gentleman's club. She says she has to get high before she goes to work. I told her if she needs to get high to work, then maybe she shouldn't be doing that job. She says all the dancers are that way and she told me she has even smoked with some of them at work.  What's your take on this?
Keenan

Dear Keenan,
There are many people who have to get high to go to work who don't take their clothes off. Working with people who drink alcohol is very hard on one's patience. At least she's not drinking like some dancers I've seen. Why don't you just ask her if she likes her job?

Dear Hyapatia,
Every time my man and I sit down to smoke, he starts gettin' all sexy. I love having sex with him, he is  really hung and he knows how to use it and I love being stoned during sex, but we don't even get a joint finished before he wants some booty. How can I slow him down without turning him off?
Joyce

Dear Joyce,
I've found that coming right out and addressing a situation like this before you are in the middle of it is always best. In other words, perhaps you could say, "I love gettin' it on with you baby, you know that. But I really want to take my time to appreciate the weed and let it take its full effect before doin' it." Then end it with "I could give you better head that way." That last sentence is probably all he hears so remind him what you want to do before you give him that much anticipated blow job when you sit down to smoke next time. Good luck!

Hyapatia,
Did you guys get high before you shot a movie?
Rich

Dear Rich,
I retired in 1996. We always shot on film back in the beginning. We wore our microphones and everything we said could be heard until someone turned off our battery pack in the back of our clothes. One time, a sound man was listening and motioned for the producer to come over and listen to what he was hearing. I turned out there were two actors in a dressing room getting ready to snort some blow. They were very surprised when the producer ran in and fired them. I have smoked on set, but most people do not, especially now with all the crackdowns in the business.

Hi Hya,
I love to watch x-rated movies. I have a girlfriend and she has even watched one with me. How can I get her to relax enough to do the things I see in the movies?
Jason

Dear Jason,
Make sure to show her movies made for couples, like most of the ones I made. But don't expect her to do any of the things you find in "gonzo" porn, all the wildest and craziest sex acts, no matter how relaxed she is.