Dear Hyapatia
I have an unusual problem. My girlfriend wears me out! She likes to do a bunch of different positions and by the time we’re done, I have had a real workout. Should I bring other guys into the picture to help me satisfy here? I don't want her to leave me. She is in her late 20's and I’m almost 50. She has a ferocious sex drive.
Worn Out

Dear Worn Out,
I don't suggest bringing in other men; she may get too attached to one of them. But I do think that she’s really into you and that has a lot to do with her sex drive. Maybe you should take a trip to the local sex shop for some toys. I bet you will find a way to keep up! Remember, a “workout” is good for you and will keep you in great shape. Sex is aerobic exercise, which is great for your heart.

My boyfriend has a jealousy problem. He says I’m always coming on to his homies when they come over. I try not to look at them or pay any attention to them, but he still accuses me. I want nothing to do with those guys. How can I make him see that?
For Real

Dear For Real,
I once made a candlelight dinner for my man at my place and when he came over, he thought someone else was there! He looked around the house and in the garage and everywhere! It was ridiculous, but that’s what some insecure men do.
It may be that there is really no way to convince him of your loyalty. Some guys are really insecure inside and are always afraid their girl is going to leave them. They accuse her of cheating because they can't believe someone would be with just them and only them. This is something they have to work on themselves – maybe in therapy.
If he can't or won’t get help, you may want to get up and leave the room when his friends come over. Surely he could see then that you’re not interested in his friends!

Dearest Hyapatia,
My wife doesn't enjoy sex as much as I wish she did. She pretends to come, but I can tell she’s faking it. Why do women do that? How can I really make her come? Thank you.

Wanting More

Dear Wanting More,
Women often fake it because they’ve been told that if they make a man feel bad in bed, he’ll have a problem getting it up later. They don't want to hurt men’s feelings. Women can come in two different ways: via the G-spot and the clitoris. There are some women who find it hard to come from the G-spot and prefer you to concentrate on their clitoris. Contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t mean you have to spend hours between her legs and wear out your tongue muscles. Put your hand or your fingers on her clit and rub it around. Little circles work well. Hopefully, she’ll move to direct your pressure just where she wants it. Don't rub too hard; be gentle. Think of a soft massage; that will do the trick. Maybe this is what she is seeking.

I need your help. My man wants us to get into swinging. I have heard lots of great things about it, but I just don't want to. Even with condoms, I’m afraid of diseases and I am picky about my sex partners. He says I need to open up, broaden my horizons. If I start swinging, will it be easier the next time? Do I just need to keep an open mind, like he says?

Dear Uncertain,

If you don't feel that swinging is for you, I strongly advise you not to try it. Swinging is the kind of thing that you’re either into from the start, or you just plain, aren't. If you try it, I don’t believe you’ll like it. And I don’t think you’ll feel better about it the next time. If you hold resentment against your man for talking you into doing something that you really don't want to do, and are doing it just to please him, at some point the pressure will reach a boiling point and you’ll have to let off steam – at him. I’ve had friends who've had this happen to them.  Don't ever let anyone talk you into something that you really don't want to do.