Dear Hyapatia,
My girlfriend has a garden. Sometimes she asks me to help her with things.  When I help her, she yells at me and is outright verbally abusive! She never gives me shit like this with at other times. It’s only when I help her with the garden. But I never help her unless she asks me to. I try to do exactly what she tells me, but no matter what I do, I can’t please her. I’m not a grower. I don’t know as much as she does about all this stuff. I just try to do as I am told, but it never works. We always end up in a fight.  I don't know what to do. I’ve tried telling her I don't want to help, but then she yells at me saying I should help because I help smoke the harvests. Well, what can I say, I do like to get high. I feel like I should help her with all the heavy lifting and stuff. Other than this one issue, we get along pretty good! I want to stay with her, but this is just getting to be too much.
Frustrated in Denver

Dear Frustrated,
Oh boy, have I seen this before! Growers are very picky about their gardens. It’s understandable. What seems to be the common thread here is the bitching when things aren't done just right. It’s hard, but if she can get to a place where if nothing died, then it wasn't that big of a mistake. She could calm down over what she perceives as your "mistakes.” Just about anything you do wrong to a plant can usually be fixed through foliar spraying and light adjustments. I wish you both the best. Perhaps you could do a little learning in your spare time so you don’t make mistakes. Ultimately, it’s is up to HER to teach you if she wants your help. If she thinks she has to verbally berate you, she needs to find another helper or just do it herself!

Dear Hyapatia,
I read in HIGH TIMES about all the Cannabis Cups held allover the place. I would love to go to one of those, but I have a garden to take care of. How can I go and enjoy the fun without losing everything I’ve worked so hard for? Most of it is automated, like the lights and pumps – I grow hydro – but I find that if I don't check on it at least once a day, things start to degrade. Help me join in the fun!

Dear John,
I have grown hydroponically and aeroponically and I found that every time I trusted someone to care for my garden on my short trips away, I lost at least half of everything. It’s been a very big disappointment to me in the past and I would hate for someone else to have to go through all that. Testing of pH and ppm testing is imperative. There are many small things that people just don't know unless they themselves have done it.  It’s virtually impossible to find someone to care for your babies the way you would. Is there a way you can go between harvests? Time your garden to be in a vegetative state. Can you lose half and still get by? I gotta say, the Cannabis Cup I attended in Richmond, CA was well worth taking time away from a garden. You’ll be glad you went, no matter what the cost.

Dear Hyapatia,
I’m a college student and I love to get high. My problem is that my girlfriend and I live together and she likes to wake’n’bake. I do, too! However, I’ve found that I just can't concentrate and remember like I need to for my classes when I do that. I’ve asked her if we could give it up, but it really seems to help her in her daily routine. I really love her but this is coming between us.
Trying to Study

Dear Trying to Study,
I feel your pain. I take it that your girlfriend doesn’t want to get high by herself. That would be the simple answer. Is there any way she could medicate in a place without you, where you won't be tempted to join her? Do you both have to leave the house at the same time?  Could she wait until you are gone? Could she do it before you get up? I hope some of these suggestions help out.

Hey Hya,
I am planning a trip to Hawaii. I can't wait; I’ve never been there. My problem is that I’m afraid to take weed with me. I am going to want to smoke on my vacation. How can I get some weed in Hawaii?

Dear Dan,
I’ve been to Hawaii many times and I’m sure you’ll enjoy your vacation to the fullest. My first ex-husband and I went there and we ran out of weed on Maui. We went to a tea shop – I don't drink coffee – and asked around. Finally we found a connection.  We met this guy for an ounce of Maui Wowie that looked absolutely beautiful. It was hermetically sealed, so we couldn’t open it and smell it. That was OK, because we were trying to be discreet. It was pricey, but we figured it was worth it. When we got back to the hotel and opened it, there was no smell.  The taste was terrible and it did NOT get us high at all. We were really pissed. I wouldn’t want that to happen to anyone. If you do seek it out, be discreet. Stoners usually know stoners. Hotel staffers are often very helpful. I won’t recommend taking pot on the plane, but let’s just say I know lots of people who do. Too bad you can't drive to Hawaii!