Hey Hyapatia,
I am very embarrassed to tell you about my problem. When I smoke a lot of weed, I have a hard time doing what needs to be done in bed, if you know what I mean. My girl never complains, she just keeps sucking and trying to get me up. She is a real good sport about it. What can I do to avoid this? I mean, besides not getting high, that isn't an option.

Dear Frustrated,
Are you smoking hybrids or indicas? You might try switching to only sativas when it’s time for sex. Or you just might have to take it easy before and then smoke after sex. Viagra and Cialis are very popular for a reason. Lots of guys use them. It’s always a good idea to talk to a medical doctor to discount any other possible problems.

My girlfriend has a problem. When we get high and then go to have sex, she giggles all the time. She says she’s ticklish. She laughs and giggles so much that it’s impossible to go on. Why is this? It doesn't really seem like she’s avoiding sex because when she isn't high, we have sex with no problem. No crazy giggling all the time. It’s starting to get annoying because we both like to smoke after dinner up until bedtime. Is there anything I can do to stop it?
Clowning Around in Arkansas

Dear CAA,
Try giving her a massage with oils and candles and low light. Hopefully, she’ll get used to you touching her body and not laughing. So moving right into sex should be a breeze. It seems to me that the nervous laughter might be a result of her letting her guard down and allowing her real self to come out. When she isn't high, she may put up a sort of barrier to her inner self. You may have brought out that inner self with the weed and she feels comfortable with you. That’s a compliment to you and how she feels about you. 

Dear Hyapatia,
My man likes to get stoned a lot. I do, too, but not like him. He smokes joint after joint after joint. I get good and high with him on the first joint or two and am feelin' all sexy and shit, and he just keeps lighting them up. Why is it that he puts off having sex with me so he can keep smoking? At some point, aren't you just as high as you can get and you’re wasting the weed?


Dear Rhonda,
People often say that once you reach a certain point of highness, then you’re just wasting your pot. Maybe that’s true, but I do know that the average guy loves to smoke a bit and then get it on. If he’s putting off sex with you for another joint, that’s a problem. So you should discuss it. I don't really have enough information, but Is he timid or afraid in sex? Are you usually the instigator? Does he have trouble getting it up? If it's a serious problem and you want to solve it, sex therapists can be helpful, too. Check out this interview by Dan Skye with sex therapist Dr. Cynthia Watson who has something to say on the subject.

My girlfriend is driving me crazy! She’s always coming in my garden when I’m in there and messing with things. She doesn't know what she’s doing, but she thinks she's helping. She accidentally breaks off branches, takes leaves off my plants that should stay on, moves my nutrients around and stuff and then I can't find anything. I don't want to offend her, but I have to make her stop this. How can I tell her to cut it out without hurting her feelings and starting a fight?

Dear Calvin,
Is there some small job she could do that would keep her busy and make her feel like she’s helping? Maybe she could clean the outside of your containers or sweep the floor in an area with no plants. She could wash empty containers or other things you use in the other room, or outside. That would get her out of the room and away from the plants to avoid further damage, and she would feel like she is an helping you and doing her share. Of course, you could just teach her the correct way to do things!