Dear Hyapatia,
My boyfriend grows weed and has a huge garden in our spare bedroom. It takes up the whole bedroom.  I have been squeezing and downsizing in order to make everything we own fit, but I’m getting tired of it. I need the extra space for so many things. How can we cut down the garden size without starting World War III?
Crowded

Dear Crowded.
The smaller the garden, the less pot you’ll have. But you don’t specify what method he uses to grow. Does he use principles of perpetual harvest, where he harvests every couple weeks? It just takes organization, where you have plants in different stages of growth. You don’t need a lot of space to provide for your own needs.

Dear Hyapatia,
How can I find a partner who is into the same things I am? I mean, how can I find someone who doesn't drink or do drugs, but smokes weed? It’s hard to find someone who’s into weed – and only weed – like I  am.
Jersey

Dear Jersey,
There are several websites for people who are into weed and nothing else. Search for these sites and you’ll find dozens of places to start looking for someone with similar interests. Try looking for 420-friendly sites and ones that mention weed. 

Hyapatia,
Hey! I’ve been going with this girl for several months and everything was going well until she started trying to manipulate me into smoking less. I don't mean a little less to save money or anything, but a lot less. Like, she would be happier if I just quit altogether.  Why is it that when you find someone you like, they try to change you?
Luke

Dear Luke,
There are many people, male and female, who do things like that. I don't know why it is that people fall for someone and then try to change them, but it sure happens an awful lot. Many women will fall for a man with what they see as a character flaw. They think that the person is great – if only. Then they try to make that person fit the mold they have in mind. No one can change another person's behavior without permission. In other words, your partner cannot make you into what she wants you to be without your cooperation. If you, yourself, want to change – fine. But if you don't, you need to have a talk. You need to explain to her that you were doing fine before she came along – that you know your body and your needs and you have found what works best for you. If she can't live with that, you need to be ready to let her go and look for someone else.

Hi Hyapatia,
We like to watch X-rated movies, but I don't like some of the scenes that, I think, are degrading to women – like when men come on women’s faces. My boyfriend wants me to do that, but I don't want to. I’m afraid it will get it in my eyes and stuff. It just looks all gross to me. How can I get him off this idea?
Stacy

Dear Stacy,
You need to sit down and explain to him that you are not a porn actress and that if that’s what he really wants to do, then he needs to find someone who is into that sort of thing. Would you try to convince him to try something he is against, like using a strap-on dildo on him or something that he might feel is degrading? Plant this image in his head to show him how you feel about what he is asking.