Dear Hyapatia
I have been going with a man for several years. He was divorced a few years ago and recently I have started talking to his ex. I am finding out all kinds of things I didn't know.  Like, before she cheated on him, he cheated on her. They even went to couples counseling to try and get past it. I am finding out that he is a liar and a cheat and I don't think this is the person for me. He has always told me I shouldn't talk to her, now I think I know why. He didn't want me to find out all these things. He even had their son taken away from her by saying in court that she smoked pot and grew it. He doesn't smoke now, but he used to. I smoke and I have three children from my ex-husband. I don't want him to rat me out. Now I find out that his ex even gave pot to his dad and brother, but he still snitched on her in court. I love this man, but I think I am finding out about the real man I have been with and not the one he wants me to think he is. What should I do?
Nichole

Dear Nichole,
Provided that most of what you've told me is true, I think I would dump him as quickly as you can before he decides to stab you in the back, too! Someone who snitches like that, to separate a mother and child, is the lowest scum of the earth and certainly cannot be trusted. You should consider changing your phone number and leaving no forwarding address just to be safe. I wish you luck!!!

Hey,
My girlfriend likes to get really stoned before sex -- so stoned that she just lies there. She is wasted. I want her to be more involved in our lovemaking, but she says she wants to get really stoned before we do it every time.  I've started to think that maybe she doesn't really enjoy sex and feels she has to get wasted to do it. She has never really been that sexual in bed. I have always felt like I couldn't please her. I don't think she has ever really had an orgasm. What should I do? I don't want to have sex with a zombie anymore. Don't get me wrong, I smoke my share of weed, that's for sure. And I don't mind her getting high, too. In fact, I like it better when my girlfriends smoke with me. I just don't want her to get so stoned she doesn't enjoy sex, you know?
Jason

Dear Jason,
It could be that the weed that is making her space out. Also, some women have been through some trauma that makes them overdo it as a habit, in order to cope with what happened in the past. Of course, I can't say if this is the case with her or not. If she doesn't enjoy sex as much as she could, maybe you could ask her what it is that she likes in sex. Does she like it when you go down on her? Does she like having her clitoris rubbed and massaged? Speaking of massage, a good rubdown before sex will relax her. Maybe she'll feel free to enjoy it all the more. Candles and incense can all add to the mood considerably. And for women, they really put us in the mood to let ourselves go. If none of this helps, she may want to investigate some self-help books or therapy. Or watch some x-rated movies!! When we watch others enjoying sex naturally, we feel more accepted for experiencing the depth of our sexuality. I recommend you stick to couples films. They're easy to find. Certain companies specialize in films for couples. These have plots, characters and are made for women to enjoy just as much as men. I'm almost sure this will help.

Dearest Hyapatia,
I love sex, and after a good romp, I'm always abnormally hungry. I mean ravenous! I could eat a whole cow, I swear!  What is wrong with me? I don't feel this way after exercising or after work or any other time. Have you ever heard of anyone having this problem? Through the years, my girlfriends have found it funny and curious. Doctors also chuckle and shrug it off, but I'm seriously concerned. Do you think this is some kind of eating disorder?
Barry

Dear Barry,
Actually, I have heard of this before, but I've never heard a diagnosis. Personally, I think it may have something to do with hormones. When we come, several hormones are released, like oxytocin and serotonin. Our pituitary and thyroid glands are sensitive little buggers that send out signals with these hormones. Sometimes, these signals get kinda crossed. Nothing to worry about -- no life threatening issues -- but I think this may have something to do with it. Your body knows you have used a lot of energy and need to replenish it, as well as your sperm count. Do you crave meat? Guys I know who've had this hunger after sex usually crave meat. The body craves protein to re-up your mojo. It's all probably quite natural.

Dear Hyapatia,
I saw your letter from someone wanting help with anal sex. My boyfriend and I have been using a lubricant made from cannabis. I won't say the brand name. I'm sure there are others that are just as good. It really relaxes my muscles and lets my boyfriend slip his cock in with no pain at all!  In fact, I really enjoy it. I hope this helps!
Carla

Dear Carla,
Thank you so much for the info! I'm sure this will help many people. I appreciate your taking the time to write in and let other people know about your success in the bedroom.