By David Bienenstock
A canine can be trained to search for the scent of illegal drugs, or it can be trained to detect the presence of dangerous explosives, but it cannot be trained to do both—at least not at the same time. In other words, given a world in which a limited number of dogs will be trained, then every dog trained for anti-narcotics work equals one less anti-terror dog available to sniff out explosives down at the airport. Economists call this an opportunity cost. More accurately, in this case, it's an opportunity lost.
After all, do you lie awake at night afraid that someone might be smuggling high-grade marijuana across the Canadian border? Of course not: You just hope they don't jack up the price too high once they reach the land of the free. Now picture that same van loaded with weapons, packed up and ready to go. Now the threat is real. Now you want that dog working the border, ready to lay down his life to thwart a terrorist attack, the cute, brave little guy. Too bad he's been trained to sniff out the half-ounce of BC Bud in your glove compartment instead of the dirty bomb in the trunk of the car behind you.
Speaking of glove compartments, that's a pretty dumb place to store your stash during vehicular travel. May we recommend in the trunk instead. Also, you might want to consider investing in a vacuum sealer (great for leftovers) and sealing up your shit tight before hitting the road—particularly now that the Supreme Court has just sicced the dogs on your ass. That's right, thanks to a recent ruling from the so-called high court, the cops can now have a canine check out your car anytime, anyplace—even if they have no particular reason to suspect illegal activity.
Welcome to the American Police-Dog State.