Cannabis purity, taste and potency are all important attributes the stoner community has revealed to be crucial components of the “perfect” bud. At least that appears to be the consensus of a recent Global Drug Survey, which attempts to statistically paint a portrait of the average marijuana user’s personal pot preferences.

The study finds that marijuana is one of the most popular “drugs” in the world, directly behind barstool favorites, alcohol and tobacco. And as shocking as it may seem, the majority of people across the globe reported using more marijuana over the past year than caffeinated energy drinks.

Interestingly, marijuana users in nearly every country enjoy smoking cannabis cut with tobacco in order to lessen the leaf’s psychoactive effects…but not in the United States. No sir, there is damn good reason America is considered the stoner nation -- we like our weed strong, but as the study points out, not even a die-hard pothead enjoys being smoked catatonic and wheeled around to convenience stores like Hannibal Lector in search of late night munchies. 

Pot smokers want to use marijuana that allows them to be sociable, relaxed and enables them to still function as human beings when they are stoned, according to the survey. So it stands to reason that most marijuana consumers would prefer if weed was free of some of the less desirable side effects, like paranoia, loss of memory, racing thoughts, and the hangover feeling often referred to as “burn out.”

"There appears to be a paradox in the way people describe their perfect cannabis," according to the Global Drug Survey. "This is because most the effects of being ‘high’ are due to THC, but higher doses of this drug are associated with more negative psychological effects. So while they want a preparation with overall more pleasurable effects, they also describe wanting less of the negative effects that are also due to THC such as sedation, munchies, memory impairment, restlessness. It might well be what they are describing is a high potency THC containing preparation balanced by CBD which is missing from many current strains."

All right, so maybe the American stoner is a bit unrealistic. But who can blame us for lusting after a high-powered buzz, while at the same time wishing we could keep from constantly peeking out of the windows to see if the cops have shown up? No Colorado jury would convict us!

Mike Adams writes for stoners and smut enthusiasts in High Times, Playboy’s The Smoking Jacket and Hustler Magazine. You can follow him on Twitter @adamssoup and on Facebook/mikeadams73.