There has been a bit of nasty speculation circulating around the Internet over the past several weeks regarding men who smoke marijuana being stricken with an unwelcome phenomenon sometimes referred to as bitch tits.
Now, we’re not going to lie, while the HIGH TIMES staff is certainly well versed on the subject of marijuana politics, drug smuggling and cultivation, very few of us actually hold a medical degree. Therefore, when a physician emerges with a controversial report about us stoners of the male persuasion smoking ourselves straight into a C-cup, some of us, myself included, have a tendency to get a little nervous.
However, rather than submit to some quack’s tittie propaganda and be reduced to getting fitted for a “BRO” for male support, we felt it was our responsibility, to the entire stoner nation, to take a closer look at the evidence presented in Dr. Anthony Youn’s theory that smoking cannabis causes man jugs.
According to a recent article published by CNN, Dr. Youn says that bitch tits, or as the condition is referred to as in the medical community, Gynecomastia, is a disorder brought on by a hormonal imbalance of testosterone and estrogen that affects somewhere between 33% and 41% of men between the ages of 25 and 45.
Dr. Youn goes on to mention that in animal studies, tetrahydrocannabinol, the active compound found in marijuana, has been proven to diminish the testosterone levels, shrink the testicles and create abnormalities in the sperm function of wild beasts; however, the impact of THC on a man’s body, in this regard, remains unclear.
Now, from where we come from, this means there is no significant evidence that suggests smoking weed actually reduces testosterone; shrivels up the old baby maker; or gives a man ganja knockers. In fact, while there are a few outdated studies out there that indicate chronic marijuana users can sometimes experience some less than desirable effects as the result of lowered testosterone, none of the research is conclusive.
On a personal level, I have been a religious pot connoisseur for over twenty years and I am happy to report that I still have the chest of an extremely hairy eight-year-old boy. Not to mention, the old mud flaps appear to be increasing in size -- not getting smaller.
Of course, there is a distinct possibility that this marvel of pseudo-elephantiasis has more to do with middle age and gravity than over two decades of marijuana use. But hell, if some Chinese doctor from Detroit can publish an article that scares stoners with gonads into believing that they’ll grow tits if they smoke too much marijuana, then I suppose I have every right to report that from my experience, regardless of how much weed you are chiefing, every man is destined to become a fat saggy beast with an unruly sack in the end.
Mike Adams writes for Playboy's The Smoking Jacket, BroBible and Hustler Magazine. Follow him: @adamssoup; facebook.com/mikeadams73.