Back in 2004 The Onion delivered a magical holiday piece about how everyone's favorite delivery man -- of the weed variety of course -- saved Christmas. It begins:
"Although there would be no Yule log in the fireplace, a crackling blaze of another kind would come to warm the hearts of the hapless roommates. For, these four lucky friends had a guardian angel watching over them, and this is the heartwarming true story of how the weed delivery guy saved Christmas.
'Dude, I was so bummed when I found out my stupid supervisor scheduled me for first shift Christmas Eve,' said Patrick Moynihan, 26, a 'part-time musician and full-time phone drone.' 'I was like, 'Come on, I gotta go to Milwaukee to see my old man and watch the game.' He was like, 'Sorry man, life's rough. You should've remembered to ask off.'
'It's not like Milwaukee's so great,' Moynihan added, 'but it beats spending Christmas alone in my shithole apartment.'
But, in a turn of events Moynihan described as 'X-Files-type shit,' each of his remaining roommates -- first Dirk, then Kleist, and finally even White Jimmy -- watched their Christmas plans come undone, leaving the four housemates together in Madison on the night before Christmas.
'I was supposed to go home with this chick and meet her parents,' said Dirk Udell, 24, a part-time bicycle-store clerk and bassist. 'But we totally got into this huge fight the night before, and she was like, 'Sayonara, sweetheart.' Then Kleist got wasted and slept through his flight, and White Jimmy's credit card got turned down at the bus station, because he maxed it out on that amp he bought.'
Individual heartbreak turned into collective joy when the roommates realized that they could have their own Christmas... together."
Read the full story of how the weed delivery guy saved Christmas some years ago and raise a toast to all of the dedicated delivery men and women working today to make sure no one is without their holiday cheer!