Our research department spent the past few months toiling tirelessly in the HIGH TIMES Library and Research Facility (HT LARF), carefully compiling the cannabis credentials of today’s top celebrity stoner starlets, and now—following a highly organized scientific process—they’ve produced the following Top 10 list for your exclusive edification. We wanted to know which of these ganja goddesses burns brightest on (and off) the silver screen, so we rated them in categories including: public displays of affection for the plant, on-screen smoking scenes, best pairs of lungs and the ever-popular miscellaneous marijuana moments.
Almost no stone was left unsmoked during this exhaustive research process, but before we go on to the final tally, it must be duly noted: We’re not saying these ladies are stoners (though who’s to say they’re not?), we’re just saying that we’re stoners and we love them. We love getting stoned and watching their movies. We love getting stoned and reading about their latest alleged misadventures in the gossip press. And, of course, we’d love to get stoned with them—at which point they’d be stoned stoner starlets, a phrase that I, personally, would love to hear Parker Posey try to say three times fast while fighting a mild case of cottonmouth.
Obviously, you may disagree with some of our choices, and possibly you will disagree with most of them, but certainly not all (I mean, come on). Anyway, if you want your voice to be heard, just log on to hightimes.com/starlets/ and nominate your favorites. We’ll repost this list at that address, alongside a competing compilation based on your reader responses. So close your eyes, spark a bowl and think carefully: Which Hollywood hottie would you most like to share your stash with in the back of the limo, between sips of champagne, on the way to the premiere, before hopping back on the private plane and jetting down to your private little lovers’ hideaway in the Caribbean?
1. Britney Spears
Britney’s new beau appears to be a bit of a burner, and perhaps in this case the pot has been getting the kettle baked. The high-living cannabis couple has been spotted coffeeshop-shopping in Amsterdam, the tabloids tell tawdry tales of her tokin’, and here Ms. Spears is seen about town wearing a leaf-label hoodie, some well-kempt dreads and a knowing smile. Oops, I hit it again....
2. Paris Hilton
Paris is burning! In a new, unauthorized home movie, the absentminded heiress (“Now where did I put that career-advancing tape of me mullet-fucking?”) offers up some tips on how to roll a joint in a brief segment sandwiched between a backseat sex session with a Backstreet Boy and answering the door in the nude. What an actress! What a talent!
3. Charlize Theron
According to the Bible, Eve ate of the apple of knowledge against God’s wishes, an act of defiance that got humankind evicted from the Garden of Eden. There’s no way to tell if Charlize Theron ate the apple in the above photo, but she sure as hell smoked it. Now about that snake....
4. Neve Campbell
The multitalented Ms. Campbell will make a rare on-screen musical appearance when Showtime airs a new film based on a stage show based on an old, bad piece of propaganda called Tell the Children—a.k.a. the misguided cautionary tale better known to you as Reefer Madness. Plus, she’s Canadian, and you know what that’s aboot...
5. Helen Hunt
The rest of these starlets need someone with a little more experience to look up to, and Helen Hunt is as good as it gets in this pot-leaf T-shirt. Still, no matter how much great weed we smoke, we still can’t make it through an episode of Mad About You without wishing for death. Sorry, Helen—we tried.
6. Parker Posey
She never got high in the hilarious Best in Show, but she was certainly high-strung (“Where’s Busy Bee?”). She got high all the time in Dazed and Confused, but never got mellow—playing the high-school harlot from hell and all. She even managed to be a bitch in Josie and the Pussycats, albeit adorably. Still, despite this buzzkill rÃ©sumÃ©, we know better than to confuse the art with the artist. Parker, you’re always welcome wherever we’re puffing.
7. Kate Hudson
What do you expect from the daughter of Hollywood party people (Kurt and Goldie) who got her big break playing the world’s greatest groupie in Almost Famous, then grew up to marry Black Crowes singer Chris Robinson? Also, she’s sported a stoners-only belt buckle on the cover of Rolling Stone, a sure sign that the rock’n’roll lifestyle doesn’t fall far from her family “trees.”
8. Jennifer Aniston
This good girl had a stoner spouse in The Good Girl and may have had a pothead partner in ex-hubby Brad Pitt, though she won’t take the title for herself. “I wouldn’t call myself a pothead,” she told Rolling Stone. “I mean, I enjoy it once in a while. There’s nothing wrong with that. Everything in moderation.”
9. Alicia Silverstone
If you were going to bed tonight with Alicia Silverstone, you’d be very happy. You’d also be sleeping on hemp sheets. “Hemp is not sprayed with fertilizers and pesticides like cotton, and that’s important to me,” the alluring actress has stated, citing hemp as the best choice for the environment. “There’s nothing sexier than sleeping on hemp sheets. What makes them so sexy is they are also good for the planet.”
10. Winona Ryder
Her dad, Michael Horowitz, used to write for HIGH TIMES and Timothy Leary was her godfather. Enough said.P
Photo by Jacques Brautbar