By Stoner Chick
Here’s a list of ways to face the world with a buzz!
1. First and foremost: wash, wash, wash. This may seem obvious, but after a bong hit (or three – or five at the outside), you may be too lost in reverie to remember. Get that grungy resin residue off your fingertips and nails! Wash your face! If you’re at home, indulge in an aromatherapy cleanser. Even a simple cold-water splash will do wonders for the stoned face.
2. As much as you may enjoy the lingering flavor of indica, your breath isn’t always dainty after toking. Brush your teeth. Carry a compact travel toothbrush in your purse. I mean it!
3. Now moisturize. Start with your eyes. I wear contacts so Visine isn’t an option. I use my lens re-wetting drops. (Paranoia about red eyes led me to this regime.) If you don’t suffer from imperfect vision, then go ahead – use the Visine. You probably already do. Next, moisturize your face and hands. Any nice-smelling lotion will work. It all depends on your pocketbook and how eco-conscious you are. They all work about the same.
4. Apply shimmery eye shadow. This really works! The sparkles will open up your eyes, thereby reducing the telltale, narrow, slit-eye stoner look. Plus, eye shadow will give you an air of confidence.
5. For perfectly smooth lips, use moisturizing, flavored lip balm. Your lips will be glossed and lush leaving you prepared for romantic encounters. It also has the added effect of reducing cottonmouth.
6. Now I shall reveal my favorite, top-secret fashion tip. Throw a sexy, silky scarf around your neck. Not only does this give people something else to look at besides your goofy smile, it also gives you something to play with if you get nervous.
7. Your personal scent should be something other than eau de reefer. Give yourself a dab – no, not that kind! – of fragrance in the usual pulse points: behind your ears, on your wrists, on your neck. And don’t neglect your hair! It smells up there after a night of inhaling. Don’t think that the laws of physics don’t apply to you. Give your mane a gentle spritz. And let some fall on your scarf, too. People will think pleasant thoughts about you long after you passed them by.
8. Back in the day, stoner chicks had scraggly hair and hung out in the park singing folk songs on the guitar. Stoner chicks in the 21st century are a whole, new breed. They go to school, have careers, pay bills — even have kids! Unless you’re going to a revival of Hair, skip the tie-dyes and bell-bottoms.
9. Go for the ultimate accessory no stoner chick should be without – a hat with a wide brim. If your sense of style gravitates toward the simple, a baseball cap is a super choice – especially with the millions of logos and mottos now available on caps.
10. Indulging in Mother Nature’s finest may strike you with the sudden urge to talk about yourself to anyone within earshot – how you and your dog are psychically connected or that your boss is really your mom from a past life. When you leave, people will make fun of you. I know I will. Keep your most fabulous revelations to yourself.