Hey HIGH TIMES,

Here’s my story: My girlfriend and I had just stopped at a local motel to hang out and smoke with the sister of a long time buddy of mine and some other friends. I successfully laid my hands on some of the best bud that I had seen in a long time. But because I hadn’t gotten anything that good in a while, instead of smoking it with everyone else who didn’t have anything, I just kept packing some of the cheap $40 an ounce Mexican shit that I got from a friend at wholesale prices.

After about an hour or so, I finally decided it was time to leave and when I got up to exit the room, I heard the sound that I have had permanently imprinted in my mind since I first started smoking. The dreaded four hard knocks on the door of police officers.

Now I don’t know if everyone else in the room was high, but all I could say was “DO NOT OPEN THAT DOOR!” Well since no one listens to me, the next thing I saw was a foot kicking open the door after my genius friend decided to turn the knob. Suddenly I’m standing there with my hands up as three cops (one of whom was the personal friend of my family for many years) walk around the hazy room yelling “where’s the dope.” Now, considering the fact that my front pockets were bulging with two ounces of dirt, a quarter of nuggets, and my pipe, I didn’t exactly think that I was getting out alive.

My friends and I were hauled off to the police station where I sat for two hours while everyone in the room was questioned. Now I knew that the smart thing to do was to deny everything that came at me and tell them the weed was for personal use. Luckily, since the lead drug investigator just happened to be the wife of the officer mentioned before, I was told that I would only be charged with simple misdemeanor possession and I was released into the custody of my parents.

I thought about it and decided that it was probably the closest I had ever come to prison when just as we were leaving, an officer called us back inside. She told us that I was no longer being charged with misdemeanor possession, but rather a felony of possession with intent to deliver, because of the other marijuana (about 3.5 grams) found in my car. As I thought about how my next year would be spent in jail, I smoked another bowl at home to calm my nerves.

Immediately after my bust I was ordered into drug counseling, where I had to undergo weekly drug testing (something I had always dreaded but never thought would come in handy). After the results of my first test, my counselor gave me some good news. She didn’t know whether to give me a medal or send the sample back for re-testing. It turned out that I set the county record for THC drug testing (897 ppm). Not only set the record but shattered it by 200 points!

Well, the first thing I did was have the lady send the results to the DA and I called my lawyer to tell him the good news. My lawyer, immediately got the charge reduced to two possession of marijuana charges, and one charge of possession of a drug paraphernalia, because, hey, with a score like that, who could deny it was personal!

In court, the judge sentenced me to 20 days in jail, $1100 in fines, and 6 months probation, upon the completion of which the two possession of marijuana charges would be dropped (it kind of helped that my dad eats lunch with the judge every Monday).

After about $4000 in fines and court costs, and four months of not being able to smoke, I can finally get back to my old habits, because hey, sometimes being high all the time does pay off in the end.