Speed fiends are polluting the United Kingdom’s water supply with their fierce appetite for cocaine. Recent reports indicate that use of powdered go-go juice is so high across Britain that water treatment centers are actually finding traces of the drug in the drinking water.

Recently, while scientists were conducting tests to assess risk factors surrounding the potential of prescription drugs polluting the area drinking water, they discovered small amounts of benzoylecgonine, the digested form of cocaine, remaining in the water supply after undergoing the purification process. What this means is: there is so much cocaine floating around in the collective urine stream of Brits that not even a filtration system built to make polluted water suitable for human consumption can get rid of it all.

Experts believe this phenomenon is indicative to Britain’s need for speed. “We have near the highest level of cocaine use in western Europe,” said Steve Rolles from the drug policy think tank Transform during an interview with The Sunday Times. “It has also been getting cheaper and cheaper at the same time as its use has been going up.”

Statistics from DrugScope reveal that nearly 700,000 people between the ages of 16 and 59 use cocaine every year in Britain, with another 180,000 whacked out on crack cocaine.

Interestingly, the latest United Nations World Drug Report finds that while Brits have their faces buried in mounds of Colombia coco, their use of marijuana has dropped of significantly over the past decade. This occurrence, according to the report, points towards the recent commercial appeal of cocaine and the overall decrease in its price over the past thirty years. 

“While in the 1980s and 1990s it was seen as a drug of the wealthy and fashionable, it is now widely taken by people of every class and profession -- and even by schoolchildren,” according to the Daily Mail.

Unfortunately, there does not appear to be any chance of getting all jacked up by consuming Britain’s drinking water. “Estimated exposures for most of the detected compounds are at least thousands of times below doses seen to produce adverse effects in animals and hundreds of thousands below human therapeutic doses, according to the report. “Thus, the detected pharmaceuticals are unlikely to present a risk to health.”

Mike Adams writes for stoners and smut enthusiasts in HIGH TIMES, Playboy’s The Smoking Jacket and Hustler Magazine. You can follow him on Twitter @adamssoup and on Facebook/mikeadams73.