Stoned & The City

 

By Mark Miller

 
THE GOOD

SAN FRANCISCO – A stellar city for stoners, boasting a rich marijuana history, top NorCal strains, progressive government attitudes and lowest-priority police enforcement.

 

BOULDER, CO – Famously lax toward personal cannabis consumption, and pot quality here is consistently solid. Bonus points for the thin Rocky Mountain air, which amps your buzz.

 

MADISON, WI – Legendary college party town and one of the Midwest’s most liberal cities. High-grade bud and lots of open toking, especially when disc golfing breaks out. Tales abound of arrestees with dozens of plants avoiding jail time.

 

LOUISVILLE, KY – Grass is the No. 1 cash crop in the Bluegrass State, though cops tend to be more lax in the bigger cities. Pot is an important source of revenue in this low-income state. Some say schwag hasn’t been seen in over 10 years.

 

PORTLAND, ME – Both Portlands are great, but Portland, ME, hasn’t gotten the cred it deserves. Excellent weed here, plus more casual law enforcement than many other cities on the uptight East Coast.

 

ANN ARBOR, MI – Another great Midwestern college town and the site of the annual springtime Hash Bash. Recreational possession incurs a small fine here. A welcome oasis in the otherwise schwaggy and herb-unfriendly Wolverine State.

 

BOSTON, MA – Even though the decrim laws are great (just $100 for an ounce, possible probation for more), Beantown barely makes the cut in this category. Why? The prices are outrageous! How can bud be so much cheaper in nearby Canada?

 

HONORABLE MENTION: HAWAII COUNTY – As of 2008, anyone over 21 can privately cultivate and possess up to 24 plants or 24 ounces. And it’s actually illegal here for the county government to receive marijuana-eradication funds!

 
THE BAD

CHICAGO, IL – The Windy City may be a major hub for illegal drugs, but there are way too many dry spells, and the cops are still intolerant toward tokers.

 

NEW YORK CITY, NY – No surprise: The prices here are the highest in America. A quarter of kind bud costs a solid $150; eighths are as high as $90! Plus, expect a legal hassle for public smoking.

 

PHILADELPHIA, PA – Recently, the DA’s office decided to stop incarcerating those busted with 30 grams or less. Encouraging news, but the cops have declared they’re going to keep arresting pot smokers as usual. And weed is still too pricey at $65 an eighth. 

 

WASHINGTON, DC – Finding a connection in DC is like cracking a CIA code: Stoners are ultra-secretive about revealing their source due to jeopardizing future government-related careers. The police are generally pretty tolerant, but the prices are steep – though not at NYC levels. 

 

LOS ANGELES, CA – A huge metropolis where nearly everyone tokes. But LA still needs a makeover in terms of its med-pot policies and prices to match the Bay Area. Still, SoCal bud rocks!

 
THE UGLY

LITTLE ROCK, AR – Maybe the single worst city for pot in America – mostly low-grade Mexi. Yuck. (Now we know why Clinton didn’t inhale.) Plus, any possession could mean the slammer.

 

OKLAHOMA CITY, OK – Too much schwag in the Sooner State, and you’ll lose your driver’s license after a pot bust … even if you’re on foot!

 

ST. LOUIS, MO – Stone Age drug laws: a possible year in jail for possession? (Though simple possession usually gets you drug court.) Also, frequent dry-spell blues.  

 

DALLAS, TX – A scarcity of good bud and an aggressive, militaristic police force make regular pot smoking a challenge.

 

LAS VEGAS, NV – Good bud is plentiful and easy to get, but possession of over an ounce is dangerous: a felony charge with fines and possible jail time. Under an ounce gets harsh treatment, too – especially for those with multiple arrests.

 

PHOENIX, AZ – Too much Mexi bud and police enforcement. Simple possession can result in jail or drug class.

 

INDIANAPOLIS, IN – General intolerance and shitty weed. More than 30 grams may get you six months and a $10,000 fine. Hoosiers depend on the college towns for good bud.