When it comes to stoners, we have to admit that sometimes we even shake our heads at the shenanigans. Rest assured, there will never be a shortage of fiends, fools and the generally unlucky for us to learn from every year.
With 2013 coming to an end, we thought it would be fun to take a look back at some of the most muffed up, madcap marijuana moments of 2013.
The legend of the poontang paraphernalia
After raising a little hell outside an establishment in Oklahoma City, 25-year-old Ericka Marie Danna found herself a temporary resident of the county jail. In addition to being charged for disturbing the peace, Danna also ended up charged for attempting to transport contraband after officers conducted a body search and found a hand pipe lodged inside her nether region.
Excuse me, officer… I’m just hunting stoner squirrels
A man from Washington State was arrested over the summer after authorities caught him using his archery skills to try to smuggle marijuana into a local prison. A report from the Whatcom County Sheriff’s Department says that 36-year-old David Wayne Johnson used an arrow to shoot a small bag of pot into the jail’s second-floor window. He missed his target, and the arrow landed on the roof. When authorities questioned him about why he was shooting arrows at the prison, Jordan claimed that he was simply trying to kill a squirrel. Officers say he had a hard time coming up with any explanation as to why his squirrel-hunting techniques required a bag of weed at the tip of his arrow.
Wendy’s becomes the ultimate burger joint
A Wendy’s employee gave a whole new meaning to the phrase “burger joint” earlier this year after serving an unsuspecting customer a cheeseburger topped with a half-smoked blunt. Georgia police arrested 32-year-old Amy Seibler after she admitted to getting really stoned on the job and accidentally using the remainder of a fatty as a condiment on the customer’s burger. We want some of what she was smoking.
Dog eats weed, woman stabs man
A Florida woman stabbed her boyfriend with a knife after the man’s dog ate her marijuana stash. Authorities say they responded to a distress call about a domestic dispute at a Tampa apartment complex. When they arrived on the scene, they found the boyfriend, Kevin Wiggens, with cuts all over his face, head and hand. Wiggens told officers that his girlfriend, 26-year-old Shadae Scott, assaulted him with a blade because she was pissed his dog ate all of her pot. She was only charged with one count of battery because apparently, the dog did eat her weed -- officers found no trace of marijuana.
114-year-old man busted for weed
A 114-year-old man by the name of Sulaimon Adebayo was arrested earlier this year for possession of 100 bags of marijuana he had stashed behind his home in Nigeria. When authorities questioned him about the weed, Adebayo insisted that the pot was not his (seems like the “it’s not mine” line is timeless). Police took the man into custody, but it is not known exactly what level of punishment a 114-year-old Nigerian stoner receives in one of the most corrupt countries in the world. Our guess is life in prison… we think he’ll be just fine.
Text 420 to New Jersey police:
A New Jersey drug dealer got himself sent to the slammer this year after he mistakenly sent a text message to a local police officer saying his shipment of weed was ready to unload. Authorities say that 33-year-old Nicholas Delear accidentally sent a text message to Lieutenant Eric Danielson asking him if he was interested in purchasing marijuana -- a mistake that got him busted by an impromptu sting operation later that evening.
Man caught with weed in his beard
A Florida man, Johnny Lee Fisher, was pulled over for reckless driving and soon found himself answering to drug charges after the cops noticed some marijuana lodged in his facial hair. Even though Fisher denied he was a stoner, the chunks of marijuana hanging off his face were enough probable cause to search his vehicle. He was busted for felony possession.
Cop busted selling pot from his patrol car
Yeah. You know times are hard when the cops start selling weed. Sheriff’s Deputy Darrell Mathis was busted earlier this year for selling marijuana to a federal agent while on duty. Of course, this indiscretion did not bode well for him in federal court -- he is now facing life in prison for trafficking a controlled substance while wearing a firearm.