After the three-ring smokeshow and pot circus that took place earlier this week between canna-trepreneurs, concerned citizens and the Liquor Control Board in Washington State, the powers that be have emerged from the legislative trenches, and after countless hours of green noise, somehow managed to publish their final version of the marijuana gospels.

Of course, establishing a set of rules for I-502 has been a pressing issue for Washington State because the proverbial hourglass is quickly running out of sand -- the recreational marijuana industry is set to become completely legal on November 16.

What is most interesting about the new Washington state weed laws are not the issues the LCB failed to address in their documentation, but rather, what they felt was absolutely necessary to include. Some of these new laws border on paranoia, while others are just plain depressing.

Here are the five that we found most interesting:

1. No Coupons, No Weed Shirts
Section 4 of the Washington State marijuana law covers advertising regulations, which prohibits recreational canna-businesses from conducting giveaways, offering coupons or distributing branded merchandise.

2. Medicinal and Recreational Segregation
Article 1c of the advertising regulations states that recreational marijuana businesses cannot advertise the therapeutic effects of marijuana. According to the new laws, medical marijuana is used for treating medical related issues, including pain management. Recreational marijuana, however, is for partying purposes only.

3. No Cannabis Tourism
Article 11 under the section dealing with the marijuana licenses explains that no marijuana can be consumed on the property of a licensed facility. What this means is, unfortunately, recreational cannabis in Washington State doesn’t appear to be ready for the likes of marijuana bars and coffee shops… and anyone caught chiefing it up in public is subject to fines.

4. Stoners and Arcades Don’t Mix
Article 10e of Section 314-55-050 requires that all retail marijuana businesses operate at least 1,000 feet away from gaming arcades. This section of the law was put into place in hopes of keeping retail weed out of direct sight of where kids hang out. However, contrary to what lawmakers may think, most kids have excellent vision, two working legs and an admirable level of precarious curiosity.

5. No Weed Sales If Previously Denied Liquor License
Article 13 specifies that the Liquor Control Board has the right to deny a retail cannabis license to any applicant that has previously had their liquor license revoked or was simply not approved. Therefore, if a person failed at the business of slinging booze, chances are they will not get the Board’s approval to have a go at the retail marijuana trade.