Christopher Mitchell, 42, was traveling in a vehicle driven by Keithian Roberts, 38, when they were pulled over by police in early June for not wearing seatbelts. During the stop, Mitchell said he was too big to use the seatbelt, but both he and Roberts appeared nervous, prompting the cop to summon a drug-detection dog.

After the drug dog alerted to the presence of narcotics in the vehicle, officers searched the car, then Mitchell, and found "23 grams of marijuana hidden under Mitchell’s stomach fat,” a handgun, $7000 in cash and some cocaine (for which Roberts was hit with a possession charge).

Mitchell also received a ticket for not wearing a seatbelt. A crap day all around -- insert joke about rolling and smoking a fattie, or schwetty schwag, here.