Yin: God created it.
Yang: Man demonizes it.

Yin: One puff alters your outlook for the better.
Yang: Fifty makes you comatose.

Yin: The sweetest smell on earth…
Yang: Causes neighbors to call the cops.

Yin: All music sounds unbelievably great.
Yang: Katy Perry?

Yin: You finally make it to the Cannabis Cup.
Yang: You space your hotel key, your wallet and your passport.

Yin: You feel love for all people.
Yang: VD

Yin: Your creative talent blossoms.
Yang: Your new poem reads: “I like peanut butter, but horses can’t swim.” Huh?

Yin: Pot offers stress relief.
Yang: Having no pot caused the stress.

Yin: A growroom in your studio apartment.
Yang: Good-bye, bathroom.

Yin: Pot makes you new friends.
Yang: They don’t have any pot.

Yin: Your new glass bong rocks!
Yang: When it breaks, a shard of glass punctures your eyeball.

Yin: The euphoria that pot creates is priceless.
Yang: If your pot is free.

Yin: You successfully smuggle seeds.
Yang: All of your plants turn out to be male.

Yin: If you’ve got glaucoma, pot saves your eyesight.
Yang: Now you can see your handcuffs.

Yin: A fat, juicy ounce
Yang: It’s wet. When it dries, it’s only an eighth.

Yin: Incredible pot brownies.
Yang: You’ve forgotten your name.

Yin: New strains created constantly.
Yang: New jails created constantly.

Yin: Pot eases asthma symptoms.
Yang: You cough up a lung – and you don’t even have asthma!

Yin: Medical marijuana miracles
Yang: For lab animals only

Yin: Ann Arbor Hash Bash
Yang: Well – where’s the hash?

Yin: TV is suddenly hilarious
Yang: You’re way too stoned!

Yin: Premium rolling papers.
Yang: You possess the manual dexterity of a truck driver.

Yin: Smoking makes sex even better.
Yang: A forgotten roach ignites the mattress.

Yin: The munchies make everything taste terrific.
Yang: You’re a whale.

Yin: Twelve-inch outdoor colas
Yang: Deer

Yin: Over 80 million Americans have tried it.
Yang: Hypocrisy