According to the AFP, German customs officials recently intercepted a package of cocaine in route to the Pope’s holy hideout in Vatican City. It was at the Leipzig airport where officers discovered a parcel containing 14 condoms filled with over 340 grams of liquid cocaine that had apparently come in with freight from South America.
A spokesperson for the German Finance Ministry said the narcotics package was simply addressed to the Vatican’s primary postal center, which distributes mail to all of the city’s 800 residents, including the kingpin of Catholicism, Pope Francis. He said the incident has since been turned over to Vatican police, who after conducting various sting operations to bust the coca-culprit, appear somewhat surprised that no one has yet come forward to claim the felonious blow.
Incidentally, the Pope’s dope has been sitting in the Vatican City police station since January, which most likely has nothing to do with his recent negativity in the press. Earlier this month, the Supreme Pontiff told Italian reporters he did not feel as though he was the “Superpope” that many people portrayed him to be. “Depicting the pope as a sort of Superman, a star, is offensive to me,” said Francis.
Mike Adams writes for stoners and smut enthusiasts in HIGH TIMES, Playboy’s The Smoking Jacket and Hustler Magazine. You can follow him on Twitter @adamssoup and on Facebook/mikeadams73.